Over the course of the past few days I’ve had my emotions toyed with much more frequently than I would like. In fact, I’ve had horrific high school romances that have been easier on my nerves. In a mere 48 hour span I’ve gone from impartial to intrigued, then on to excited, followed by enraged, moved on to cautiously optimistic and then settled right back on to rage again.
“But Rob,” you may ask, “what could possibly put you in such a state?”
The answer is quite simple. Scrap Metal.
When I was first approached about doing the review for Scrap Metal, I figured it would be a good match. If my past reviews are any indication, it seems as though I like just about everything. So I figured at the very least it would be worth a shot to try my hand at a game I know nothing about, and have no prior vested interest in. Sure, I could end up loving it as was my hope at the time, but I could also end up finding it “just okay” or even terrible. Either way, I wanted to put myself out there a little more and try to review a game I wasn’t already foaming at the mouth to play. I figured it’d make for some good experience. Now I’m wishing I’d stuck with my usual routine.
At first glance, it’s easy to assume Scrap Metal is a sort of love-child between Twisted Metal and games such as R.C. Pro-Am and the like. In reality it really seems more like Demolition Racer or Destruction Derby, but with a top-down perspective and the vehicles having guns, flamethrowers, spiked rams and so on. Watching the tiny cars blow each other up in the background as I fiddled around with the options screen, I began thinking that this game looked rather decent. Upon completing the tutorial and learning I can keep any cars I destroy, then customize their look and upgrade them as I see fit I thought I’d found a nifty little gem in an unsuspecting place.
After about an hour or so, I began to realize Scrap Metal was making me very, very angry.
My issues with this game don’t stem from the graphics, as they’re nice to look at and the cars blow up well. It’s also not with the sound as everything is adequate, although not particularly memorable. Both control options are manageable with an Easy setting for beginners and an Advanced one for people used to other top-down racers. The various vehicles don’t bother me, as each one has it’s own unique weapon, and the myriad of “race” options are actually both interesting and unique. I particularly liked the missions that tasked me with crushing junked cars with a monster truck, and protecting a V.I.P truck from attackers using a health-tossing ambulance. So what’s got my blood boiling so much that I can’t even bring myself to finish the last two (and a half) out of eight zones and their eight missions apiece? It’s the physics.
If I hit a ramp, my vehicle is more likely to flip, spin, slow down or otherwise forcefully throw me off course than it is to just go over the freaking ramp. When I’m driving down a straightaway, at least half the time I’ll spin out of control because a) a tiny piece of debris on the track I’d never be able to avoid got under my tire, b) fishtailing to the side because of attempting to avoid said piece of debris, c) a rival car bumped me in a manner every bit as rough as a lover’s tender caress, d) my car felt like it.
I’ve been robbed (yes, robbed) of a first place win during a race because my car miraculously ended up on its nose after I took a turn for the eighth time during a race in the exact same manner I’d taken that turn in the seven previous laps. I’ve had my car flip back-over-front after losing control on a turn. On a turn. I’ve missed an opportunity to damage an enemy vehicle with my Giant Grinding Wheel of Doom because they backed under my bulldozer. How in the… How could a car, or even a truck for that matter, ever manage to lift a bulldozer?!
Yes, you don’t have to get a Gold medal to clear the challenge and more to the next one, and yes you can unlock the next venue without completing all of the challenges, but in most instances, especially towards the last half of the game, simply getting a Bronze is more frustrating than a Prototype versus inFamous discussion. If I was losing because I wasn’t good or because I hadn’t come to grips with the controls, that would be okay. But to lose because my monster truck nearly rolled itself backwards after driving over half of a garbage can? I can’t see that as anything but horrible design getting in the way of what should be, by all rights, a fun game.
Multiplayer fares a tiny bit better as playing against three other people (and a small army of AI enemies) keeps the playing field a bit more level, if nothing else. There are still plenty of teeth-grindingly obnoxious moments to be had, such as spawning right on top of a Special Weapon (like a mine or oil slick) you’ve just placed on the track, or finding yourself a sitting duck because an almost imperceptible piece of metal has your car spinning its wheels uselessly, but at least in multiplayer you know you aren’t the only one who has to fight the game every step of the way. The various modes are well mixed, with a series of races and derbies designed for different vehicle classes. I have to admit I did have fun with the derby mode (aside from one arena that was apparently designed to keep players from moving in any direction with even a basic hint of control) as the sheer chaos meant I was destroying and being destroyed too fast for the physics to keep twisting that knife.
Despite the fact that I can’t stand the thought of attempting another round of Scrap Metal, I’m sure there are plenty of folks who will enjoy it. The early levels are most certainly fun and chaotic, and being able to take these death-machines online in order to utterly destroy those who would oppose you will undoubtedly keep people playing after that final challenge. However, being able to endure the kind of torture that Scrap Metal forces upon you before you get to that point will require a great deal of patience. Buyer beware, indeed.
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Things We Liked: Lots to unlock. Avatar Rewards (finally!). Upgradable and customizable vehicles. Lots of vehicle types to choose from. Multiplayer can be surprisingly fun as long as you aren’t racing. Catapulting rivals into a wall using a spiked ram fixed to a monster truck.
Things We Disliked: Every single vehicle used handles worse than trying to ride greased-up a walrus bareback over a surface made entirely of frozen dish soap, assuming any of that’s even remotely possible. The physics will lead to you losing challenges… a lot.
Target Audience: Those willing to avoid the second half of the game or jump straight in to multi-player. Anyone so nostalgic for R.C. Pro-Am they’re willing to endure the gaming equivalent of a four-year-old yelling “Mom. Mom. Mom. MOM. Mom. Mom” repeatedly. Those looking to prove me wrong.
(Scrap Metal – Developer: Slick Entertainment. Publisher: Microsoft. Available on Xbox 360 via Xbox Live Arcade. A copy of the game was provided by the publisher for review purposes. New to CFD!’s reviews? Read our explanation here.)
