Those who have booted up Valve’s Steam service in the last couple of days may have noticed a rather random update for 2007’s masterpiece Portal.
Shacknews has done some substantial digging and their findings may just point to an upcoming announcement to Portal 2. The patch added a new achievement that unlocks when the player places the radio on the red button during the first level of the game. After unlocking the “Transmission Received” achievement, the radio will disperse a stream of Morse code.
Within the 26 new sounds files included in the patch is the following translation:
Interior transmission active
External data line active
Message digest active
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
System data dump active
User back up active
Password back up active
Beep beep beep beep lol
In addition, the updated game files included several new images bearing the Aperture Science logo and an encrypted Kirkland, Washington phone number. Apparently, calling said number will connect you with a bulletin board system “masquerading as a GLaDOS system.”
Within this system are a plethora of ASCII images that directly reference Portal. Numerous Aperture Science “documents” have turned up within the bulletin board system as well. Shacknews has posted the following:
CONFIDENTIAL
October 17th, 1976
Re: Human Enrichment & Testing Initiative, Resource Acquisitions1. “Low Risk” Human Resource Acquisitions
a. Hoboes and Tramps
Lives spent wandering aimlessly, cowering before authority, and drinking concussive amounts of home-distilled potato alcohol make hoboes the perfect Human Enrichment test subjects. The hobo questions nothing, will follow orders if fed, and, like all hoboes, has a restless, wandering heart. (Note: The wandering heart of the hobo should not be confused with Drifing Heart Syndrome, which several transients contracted during testing.)b. Child Orphans and Foundlings
Deep-rooted abandonment issues leave most orphans highly susceptible to shame-based psychology (for a complete list of opportune moments to obliterate the esteem of test subjects, please consulting Training Video #89-D, “You’d Perform This Test Better if You Had Parents”). Recent advances in the use of scorn, flattery used in an ironic context and naked contempt of motivational tools have yielded similarly profitable results.c. Psychiatric Patients
Past experiences shows these fellows are simply not shy at all about carrying on, disrupting tests and defecating just about anywhere that pleases them. Frankly, it’s off-putting, and small wonder why Apeture-brand mental institutions are being phased out in favor of more orphanages.d. Seniors
Frail, brittle hands make holding science devices difficult. Most were born before the advent of science, and can become confused and disoriented when asked to participate in relatively simple tests (teleportation, invisibility, adjusting esteem levels of orphan children).MEMORANDUMS: Filed under CJohnson: 188454-G
88^5211762 json remind you that Apeture Science is built on three pillars. Pillar one: Science without results is just witchcraft. Pillar two: Get results or you’re fired. Pillar three: if you suspect a coworker of bein’ a witch, report them immediately. I cannot stress that enough. Witchcraft will not be tolerated.
MEMORANDUMS: Filed under CJohnson: 7655-293-G
A lot of you have been raising concerns about the so-called “dangers” of what we’re all doing here. The beancounters told me to tell you that as of today, testing will no longer be as mandatory or as dangerous. That’s not gonna happen, and here’s the reason:
Science isn’t about why, it’s about why not. You ask: Why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won’t hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired.
Plus, in the event of your death, I personally guarantee that, thanks to the form you were required to sign this morning, your family will not suffer the indignities of a prolonged and costly legal battle against Apeture Science. Trust me, I am rich, and it is a burden I do not wish on anyone.
To summarize: 6218376213 wjqehjk -213888^%@5*(*@)@)#*a@ +—+++
This may or may not be weirder than yesterday’s ApocalyPS3 or the collapse of Infinity Ward big-wigs, but it’s definitely more predictable. Updates as they come.
[Via: Shacknews]
Aperture Science Images:
ASCII Images:
