Action games have come and gone, but over the years some very specific titles have become the best (i.e. most well known) embodiments of the genre. A trio of very well-loved characters have been the shining stars of a category that – let’s be honest – doesn’t really get all that many newcomers. When I mention this trio, I’m of course referring to The Big Three: Dante, Kratos and Ryu Hayabusa.

As I said, this power team hasn’t really had much competition (aside from each other) for a while now. Oh sure, a few games have tried to get close to them, but none have really managed to reach that same level of Awesome. Now it’s Bayonetta‘s turn to make a grab for that ring. But just how well will the witch with the magic hair and foot guns fare in what has been (up until now) an elite boys club? Something tells me you’ll find out after the jump.

Bayonetta does not, in fact, stand toe-to-toe with the Big Boys. She doesn’t compare to Dante, measure up to Kratos or balance out with Hayabusa. The reason for this is because she leaves all three of them in the dust. Dazed, confused and wondering just what in the heck went wrong.

Granted, Bayonetta‘s story is about what one would expect out of an action game born from the mind of Devil May Cry‘s director, Hideki Kamiya. It’s completely over-the-top in presentation and more than a little difficult to follow (much less to simply understand). You see, a long time ago order was maintained in the world by two factions: The Lumen Sages and the Umbra Witches. At some point, Bayonetta got caught up in some sort of crazy taboo between the two orders, was deemed an outcast, then somehow ended up sleeping in a casket at the bottom of a lake for about 500 years. When she woke up, the Umbra Witches were all but extinct, and she started killing Angels for profit. Believe it or not, that’s the best I can do to explain the backstory.

Presentation is also a bit of a mixed-bag. Many of the cutscenes are incredibly over the top (more on them a little later), and a pleasure to behold, however others are an odd sort of “old-timey” still-shot images often displayed on a virtual film strip. Clothing and hair will move in the wind, characters speak, and the camera will even occasionally sweep and pan, but the characters themselves don’t actually move. It’s a very odd sort of counter-balance to the rest of the game’s non-interactive moments, and yet given Bayonetta‘s downright ridiculous… well… everything, it somehow fits. Even the music, which is incredibly inappropriate in a “that’s a weird choice” sort of way, manages to fit perfectly with all of the crazy. The bizarre J-Pop and Jazz combination can get annoying, possibly even distracting, but it’s impossible not to believe it’s anything but intentional. Platinum Games deserves a lot of credit for this. Lots of people in creative fields may try to push things outside of their audience’s comfort level, but often times they second guess themselves and many of these efforts fall flat as a result. Bayonetta laughs at the concept of holding back, and that drive to be as unabashedly Out There as it can be is ultimately what allows it to succeed.

But you know what? The story isn’t all that important anyway. What’s most important is how Bayonetta plays. And she plays very, very well. In fact, the reason I’m making the (possibly risky) assertion that she trumps every other game in the genre is more-or-less solely because of the way she controls in a fight. Combos are fast and furious, juggling is prevalent and best of all virtually every single attack can be interrupted with a dodge. This is in italics because it’s just that awesome. You see, while playing Bayonetta, you will never (okay, only like 0.01% of the time) find yourself on the receiving end of an enemy’s attack because you were locked into a combat animation. However, dodging is much more vital to Bayonetta’s continued existence than merely avoiding damage. A well-timed dodge will activate “Witch Time” for a few seconds, slowing all enemies (even bosses) down to a crawl and allowing the vivacious witch to do some major damage.

Attacks are limited to two buttons, one for the hands and the other for the feet, but each attack varies based on delays, use within a combo, left stick position, and whether you’re on the ground or in the air. It’s much more complex than even the demo would have you believe, but it’s also incredibly robust. Every attack in a combo can be “enhanced” by holding down the buttons, which can lead to incredible feats like finishing a kick off with a shotgun blast. Of course, once you come to grips with the overall combat system, you’ll still have more to learn. There are several different weapons in Bayonetta, many of which probably won’t even be found in a single playthrough.

Each of these weapons has its own uses and different attacks, and can be combined with any other weapon that can fill the second weapon slot (be it hands or feet). You want to go for range? How about using a whip and pistols? Want to be a melee monster? Try a katana paired with clawed gauntlets. Oh, and you can have two separate weapon sets at the ready which you can switch between on the fly. Even in mid-combo. I imagine this all sounds a little overwhelming, but in yet another genius maneuver Bayonetta’s loading screen doubles as a combat tutorial, complete with input displays and move lists. If you feel the need to really get a feel for your weapons before the next level loads, simply press the Back/Select button and you’ll have as much time as you need to perfect your combos.

Yes, the combat is great. And the fodder compliments it perfectly. The angels are, to put it bluntly, great examples of absolutely stellar design. From the human-sized bird-like grunts to the aircraft carrier-sized bosses (no really – at least one or two are roughly that huge), an admirable amount of detail has gone in to their look. They have a huge range in appearance – from avian to canine and even vehicle-based – and many of them have multiple variants utilizing different weapons and attack patterns. But the most interesting constant throughout (to me, anyway) is what’s hiding beneath the pristine white “shell.” As Bayonetta beats these various beasts into various forms of paste, their exterior begins to crack and break away, revealing something underneath that appears anything but divine. In fact, it wouldn’t be out of place to say that underneath their glamour, the angels look just as hideous as their demonic counterparts. Possibly more so.

And then there are the encounters themselves. I have to admit, Bayonetta is quite possibly the most insane video game I’ve ever seen. Anyone who’s played the demo or even read a paragraph about the game somewhere knows at least a little about it: She’s overtly sensual, she wields guns on her shoes, she can summon demons out of her hair and in so doing strips away most of her clothing (which is, in reality, made up of her hair). The bosses are massive and the violence is gratuitous, but what you may not know is that all of this is just the very tip of one absolutely astounding iceberg. The game begins (begins – as in “I just hit start at the title screen and now this is happening”) with a showdown against a seemingly limitless supply of angels on a clock tower that is itself in the process of breaking apart as it falls down an impossibly large cliff. Debris flies by as you beat the ceramic facade off of your aggressors, all while you’re barely aware of what you’re doing. It’s complete, grandiose sensory overload and this happens before you get to the tutorial.

“There’s nothing cooler or more insane than that!“

Get used to those words, because they’ll become your mantra as the hours tick by and the divine body count rises. You think pinning angels in a demonic Iron Maiden while on the fuselage of a plane frozen in time, mid-crash is crazy? Wait ten minutes. Having to transform into a panther just to be able to cover ground fast enough as you race across a bosses’ arm (which is itself roughly the length of a football field) towards its weak spot has your adrenaline pumping? Believe me, that’s nothing. Bayonetta is a near-constant barrage of the incredible, impossible and unexpected. Every single peak in the action (be it interactive or not) is the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen. Then you’ll see/do something that’s easily ten-times more miraculous. It could be a boss fight. It could even be an interactive gameplay homage to certain classic Sega games. Part of what makes it all so wonderful is that you never really know what’s going to happen next. Just do yourself and your brain a favor, keep a bucket nearby. It’ll take less time to clean up the mess that way.

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Things We Liked: Enemy designs. Fluid combat. Complex and rewarding gameplay. Lots to unlock – tons of replay value. The over-the-top everything. Witch Time. Hair dragons. Each and every boss encounter. The massive amount of nods (both subtle and overt) to various games throughout the decades.

Things We Disliked: Once or twice the camera was a nuisance in narrow spaces. Yup. *crickets*

Target Audience: Action game aficionados. People who don’t shy away from some gourmet Japanese Crazy. Any and every fan of The Big Three.

(Bayonetta – Developer: Platinum Games. Publisher: Sega. Available on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 – Xbox 360 version reviewed. Buy it Now at Amazon.com. New to CFD!’s reviews? Read our explanation here.)